Trump: truly the biggest of something
He’s the president who squared the circle, who taught pigs to fly. He slew a dragon and invented the Macarena. Jesus rose on the third day but Trump does it every day. He single handedly won all wars by being the strongest man alive. All time Jeopardy champion. Fastest solo trans-Atlantic backstroke. World’s most recognized hair. Holds records for most peanuts shoved in ear and nose. Honored with award for “smoothest talking ladies’ man” by Saudi Arabia. Holds record for most nipples in the Oval Office.